If you’ve known us since our loss, you’ve probably seen us mention a few (hundred) times or share something related to Count the Kicks. So what is Count the Kicks and why do we keep exhausting it on our social media?
CTK is an evidence-based program that teaches expectant parents about the importance of tracking fetal movements. CTK was created by Healthy Birth Day, Inc., a 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to reducing stillbirths through education, advocacy, and research.
In pregnancy, though none of your doctors will probably mention this to you at any of your appointments, stillbirth can occur. I know it makes me sick, too, to have to talk about it. But I lived it and this is why I have to talk to talk about it. I want to ensure that we can help as many as we can avoid stillbirths, especially preventable stillbirths. The good news is that this program is designed to educate you on how to avoid this and advocate for you and your baby. Let me be clear, this information is not supposed to scare you, but rather EMPOWER YOU when pregnant. To give you all the tools you need so that you end up holding your happy healthy, alive baby when the time is right. But in society, we don’t like to talk about uncomfortable things, especially stillbirth, and that needs to change.
Here are some quick (yet alarming) fact checks for you because doctors certainly aren’t talking about or probably educating you on this when you become pregnant: in 2020 (latest research available) the CDC reported 21,000 stillbirths in the United States. That’s nearly 60 babies a day. Of those 21k, 25% of them were preventable. The US has more stillbirths than any other developed nation in the world. Globally, the US ranks 183rd out of 195 countries in stillbirth rates. Take a minute to think about that. The work that CTK is doing can help reverse these awful statistics.
Another horrible statistic that can go hand in hand with stillbirths, is maternal death rates in the US, especially among Black women.
According to the CDC:
The maternal mortality rate for 2021 was 32.9 deaths per 100,000 live births, compared with a rate of 23.8 in 2020 and 20.1 in 2019 (again, this is the latest data the CDC offers). In 2021, the maternal mortality rate for non-Hispanic Black (subsequently, Black) women was 69.9 deaths per 100,000 live births, 2.6 times the rate for non-Hispanic White (subsequently, White) women (26.6). Rates for Black women were significantly higher than rates for White and Hispanic women. The increases from 2020 to 2021 for all races and Hispanic-origin groups were significant.
The moral of this story: WE HAVE GOT TO BETTER FOR WOMEN AND BABIES. That is exactly what CTK’s entire mission is—saving as many infants and mothers as possible, equipping our healthcare facilities with updated education and research, and providing that education and research right into the hands of expecting parents through the CTK App and website. These tools give you the ability to bond with your baby by counting their movements in your third trimester.
But why should we care or take the time to track our baby’s movements? Other than it being cute, why do their movements matter? Well, your baby’s change in movements, either an increase or decrease from their standard movement pattern, is the NUMBER ONE indicator that your baby (or even mom) is in distress and you need to seek medical attention immediately. Heart rate is not an appropriate indicator unfortunately. Please know this and please don’t depend on your at home doppler machine. Many times in the instance of stillbirths, the heart rate appeared “normal.” That’s why you have to know/establish your baby's typical movement pattern before you can know if there is a shift. I hope it goes without saying to trust your gut; if you feel like something is off with your baby, they aren’t as active as usual, or they’re extremely active (even if you haven’t been physically tracking their movements), GO TO THE HOSPTIAL IMMEDIATELY. I can’t tell you how little you should care about “bugging” your doctor or nurse. This is their job. And every one of them should want you to come in, and your issue was just a false alarm, versus you not trusting yourself or worrying about being high maintenance, and it’s too late for your baby. If this sounds harsh, I’m sorry. But I hope it sticks with you more than anything else. ALWAYS GO IN IF YOU’RE UNSURE OR SUSPECT SOMETHING IS OFF.
Back to your tracking movements, it is very easy to do so and not time consuming. You just have to track when you feel any type of movement from your baby and log each one until you get to 10 total movements. You do not have to sit in one place until you get to 10. You could be at work or cleaning the house or doing literally anything, as you feel each movement, you just open the app record the movement, and note the time. It can take as little as 5-10 minutes to get to 10 total movements or 30 min to an hour. It only takes 10 days to know your baby’s pattern and you can start counting at 28 weeks gestation (26 weeks if you’re high risk). Don’t fear if you have an anterior placenta by the way! You WILL feel your babies’ movements; it just may take you longer than the average to start feeling them and you will still be able to count them! Follow CTK on social media. There is so much more information on kick counting and things like anterior placentas and how to count on there!
My husband and I believe in this organization and its mission so much. A few of the founders reached out to us after we lost Mary Kate. They were so crucial to us while we tried to navigate our grief with their love and support, and sharing their own heartbreaking stories of loss. Through their stories and their desire to change the world in honor of their babies, we realized we could do a lot of good and save a lot of future babies in honor of our sweet angel.
We first decided to partner with CTK for the NFL’s “My Cleats My Cause” campaign in 2022. Sunday Night Football caught wind of Ryan’s cause and decided to feature his cleats, our story and collaboration with CTK nationally. From there our relationship and our partnership only deepened. I was presented the opportunity to join to Board of Directors for CTK’s parent company, Healthy Birth Day, in 2022. It is truly one of the things I am most proud of. Not only are we advocating for education and research in every hospital and healthcare facility that has anything to do with pre and post-natal care, but we are also in the middle of fighting for legislative change by elevating the national crisis of stillbirth at the highest level of our government. We are proposing stillbirth prevention through legislation, and we are EXTREMELY close to getting two different bills passed through Congress: one is the Maternal and Child Health Stillbirth Prevention Act, which proposes an amendment to Title V of the Social Security Act to allow for the inclusion of stillbirth prevention activities and research as an allowable use of funds. This addition, or clarification really, will support stillbirth prevention activities, thereby helping to save the lives of mothers and babies across the US. The other bill is the Shine for Autumn Act which focuses on preventing stillbirth through enhanced data collection, research, education, and awareness. Without progress in these areas, we are very limited in what we can do to protect families and help them bring their babies home safely in their arms.
Aside from being on the board and partnering with HBD/CTK, this mission is deeply personal to us. I’m not sure it could have saved our daughter had we known about it then, but if it weren’t for all the education we received since losing MK, I’m not sure our twins would be here today if I hadn’t known one of the twin’s movements were off. At 26 weeks pregnant, I went into the hospital because I wasn’t feeling Baby A’s typical movement patterns. I could always get him to move if I laid on the side he was on. After lying on his side for over an hour with no movement from him, my husband and I rushed to the hospital. I should mention we were also on vacation in Florida at this time. We rushed into triage at the hospital where they quickly got us set up to monitor the boys and my vitals. After a few hours, vitals seemed normal, and the baby’s movements returned, so they released me.
Within 48 hours, we had flown into Nashville for my friend’s wedding. I would go into the hospital again for decreased fetal movement with the same baby and, this time a few other symptoms such as a major change in cervical mucus, and light cramping that started in the morning and developed into full-blown contractions by the time I was walking into triage in this hospital. I would go on to deliver my sons a week later after being hospitalized for a week. It turns out that I had a UTI (with no symptoms) that had somehow spread to baby A. If I hadn’t gone in, especially the second time (after they told me it was probably nothing at the first hospital visit in Florida days earlier), I would have lost my baby and potentially both of them.
Delivering them, albeit at 27 weeks, was the only chance we had for him to survive because of the infection. And I’m glad I didn’t waste a second getting to the hospital, even though I had to miss my friend’s wedding. Because every minute mattered, literally. I barely had enough time to get the steroids the boys needed in order to have a chance at surviving outside of me an entire trimester early.
I am so proud of the work we are able to do in the name of my sweet Mary Kate!
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